An all-day session on Friday, January 16th,
kicked off the revamped 2015 edition of CAI's Green Team. A good portion
of the session was devoted to learning about Social Styles. Everyone has
a Social Style: a set of behaviors a person shows to the outside world.
Social style is determined by where one falls on the Ask/Tell spectrum
and the Controls/Emotes spectrum.
Placement on the Ask/Tell spectrum is determined by a person's
propensity for asking questions or speaking assertively. Placement on the
Controls/Emotes spectrum is determined by a person's tendency to control or
display emotions. Howevver, we did not know all this before our first
session. Before the session took place, our first task as a newly-minted 2015
Green Team fellow was to take a survey of questions to determine our own Social
Style. We received the results of our surveys during the afternoon of the
first session. I found my results somewhat surprising but I've learned
about myself because of them.
Before receiving the results of the survey we
took previous to the session, the facilitator, Dave Broderick, asked us to
gauge where we thought we were on the each of the two spectra that determine
Social Style based on the brief introduction he gave us. He then showed
us which style we fell into based on those quick answers. So my initial
evaluation found me in the Amiable quadrant because I felt that I ask more than
I tell and emote more than control.
But after hearing the description of the Amiable style, I felt it
was not like me. I felt I was like the parts, that I ask and emote
(sometimes more than I would like), but not really like the whole. I do
not feel I'm the "warm and fuzzy" person that the Amiable description
described who is all about relationships and feelings. Interestingly,
another member of the group that I had never felt before felt I might be based
on a brief conversation where I asked him about his background.
Next we moved on to the official results
produced by the questionnaire. And according to my answers on it, I was
right. I was not, in fact, the Amiable style. I was Expressive.
According to my survey answers, I leaned more towards the Tell end
of the spectrum rather than the Ask end but I was still one who tends to emote.
Strangely, I didn't agree with that result either. Again, I agree
with the parts in that I feel I resemble them some of the time, but I don't
agree with the detailed description. As the session moved on, I did
realize that, in group situations, I do speak up. Some might say too much. By the end of
the Saturday session, I thought too much. But at those
times, I felt like I needed to do so. Sometimes it was because there was
limited time and I wanted to get the ball rolling, so to speak.
Sometimes, it was because of that emoting part of me - I feel a
certain way and thoughts pop into my head and they come right out of my mouth. So
I still emote and sometimes I do talk but I don’t feel I am someone who seeks
attention and is creative and flighty.
Learning about Social
Styles is helpful in learning about ourselves.
It makes us think about how our behaviors can enhance or impede our
ability to communicate with others. We can
also use the knowledge to figure out what someone else’s style is and modify
our behaviors to make interactions with them smoother. My take away from Social Styles is to try to
be more mindful when I speak. I should take
a moment to think about when to speak, what I say, and how I say it. One thing that would make this process more
interesting to me is having someone else take the survey about my
behavior. I think that since we are
trying to learn about the outward part of our personality that affects others,
it might be interesting to learn how someone outside of ourselves sees our behavior. I wonder how our self-perception gets in the
way when we answer the survey. I’d be
curious to know what the result would be if someone who knows me and interacts
with me took the survey. Would I still
be Expressive?
One of the over-arching
goals of Green Team is to become an advocate, ally, and ambassador for
CAI. Knowing about Social Styles is a
great tool to aid in that goal. The key
to becoming an advocate, ally, or ambassador is to build good relationships
with others. Social Styles show us how
our style can affect others and how to more effectively interact with others in
a way that works with their style. If we
cannot communicate effectively, we cannot deliver the message and build the
relationship.
